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The consequence is that people feel trapped or “on the fence” and racked with ambivalence.
On one hand they crave freedom and independence; on the other hand, they want the security of a relationship – even a bad one.
Most people tell themselves, “The grass isn’t any greener,” believe they’re too old to find love again and imagine nightmarish online dating scenarios.
Less so today, some cultures still stigmatize divorce. Despite the abundance of reasons, many of which are realistic, there are deeper, unconscious ones that keep people trapped – usually fears of separation and loneliness that they want to avoid.
His ambivalence made him so distressed, he died before she did!
Whereas women tend to have girlfriends in whom they confide and are usually closer with their parents, traditionally, men focus on work, but disregard their emotional needs and rely exclusively on their wife for support.
Yet, both men and women often neglect developing individual interests.
Homemakers fear being self-supporting or single moms, and breadwinners dread paying support and seeing their assets divided.
Often spouses fear feeling shamed of leaving a “failed” marriage.
Although the negative impact of divorce upon children is real, their worries may also be projections of fears for themselves.